Playing Favorites
Reprinted with permission of the National Interscholastic Athletic Administrators Association and the NIAAA Publications Committee
(Reprinted from the 2016 December edition of the KSHSAA Activities Journal)
A wise old coach once agreed to a meeting with a concerned parent. The parent was not happy about the playing time being given to his or her young student-athlete. Part of the discussion moved to a point where the parent indicated that it was possible that the coach was playing favorites. Sensing a possible teachable moment, the wise old coach told the parent that he did indeed play favorites.
The parent was shocked at this bold admission and wanted to press the point. But before the parent could steer the discussion in a dangerous direction, the wise old coach asked to be able to explain how he picked his “favorite” players. He explained that once the parent could see how favorites were selected, the meaning of his words would be much clearer and make more sense.
The coach proceeded to include a very lengthy list of the characteristics of his “favorite” players. He told the parent that his favorites were players that always arrived at practice early and were some of the last to leave. They worked the hardest and complained the least. His favorites worked as hard off the court as on, and even if they were not the best in the classroom, they gave maximum effort. They did all that was asked of them in class and never became problems for the teachers or school administrators. The same behavior was exhibited in the practice arena during the offseason and during the regular season. As hard as they worked, the favorites also encouraged others to do so by example.
He continued by saying his favorites did not always possess the most athletic ability, but they worked to maximize what talent they had been given. They worked year round to improve their skill level and awareness of the game. They also worked to make their teammates better in the process.
These favorites were game intelligent and never made the crucial mental errors that cost their team. They always stayed under control and never let their emotions get the better of them. Never did they lose their composure in a game or practice and show up their coaches, teammates or officials. Often they were a calming influence on teammates and fans that were about to go over the edge. They never did anything that would embarrass the school, team or community. They were the kind of people that would make any parent proud.
The wise old coach concluded by saying that the name on the back of the jersey had nothing to do with his determination of any favorite player. The status of the parents in the community, the job held by either parent, the athletic background of any family members or the amount of time and/or money donated to the program were never part of the equation. Rather, the ability to put the goals and expectations of the school and team ahead of all personal glory were a major determining factor when deciding favorites. Community opinion and social media buzz are also never a factor.
So the next time a student-athlete, patron, parent or casual fan wants to talk to you about coaches choosing and playing favorites on their teams, remind them of the words of the wise old coach. The favorites that play on interscholastic athletic teams do so for a reason. Playing time is always earned and never given. The favorites that show up on game nights have been workers, leaders and team players long before the lights come on, the fans enter the venue and the games begin.
